Changing a child to fit society.

Nine-year-old Ashley had her uterus and breast buds removed, as well as doses of hormones to stop her growing taller. The mother of fifteen-year-old Katie also wanted her daughter’s womb removed, but was prevented from doing so by an ethical row that subsequently erupted.

Bob Benson, Scope’s community development director, recently said ‘We mustn’t change the child to fit society, we need to change society to meet the needs of the child’. An idealistic statement, or one that maybe doesn’t take into account the stress and difficulty of living with and caring for a severely disabled child.

I should imagine most parents have concerns about the future for their children, a desire to see them settled, happy and secure. Ashley suffers from severe and permanent brain damage, she has the mental ability of a three-year-old baby…she cannot walk or talk. Before we condemn, judge and spout on about ‘abuse of human rights’, we need to scratch below the surface and think a little deeper.

Parenthood is about raising a baby through to adulthood, seeing them develop in character, blossom and mature, become independent. To care and to cherish…the love you receive in return that makes it all worthwhile. Parents, such as those of Ashley and Katie have a life sentence of caring responsibility, with few of the aspirations and rewards that we often take for granted.
What seems to many as inhuman, are in fact desperate measures to cope. Support and understanding is what is required. What is right for one parent is not what is right for another. From my own perspective, control of menstruation could be important, where breast bud removal and hormones to stop growth maybe going a little too far. I don’t think you can underestimate for a minute the devotion, dedication and sacrifice involved in caring for a severely disabled child. How can the caring parent of such a special child be perceived as selfish or abusive…so easy to condemn, immensely difficult to live the reality.